I would like to say that I have learned to forgive. It was not easy to do so. It seemed I blamed everyone for my son's pain. I found out in the end that only Philip could have stopped what he did to himself. Sure he was hurting and felt so alone in that moment. Yet, He had Jay and I who would have went to hell and back for him. He had so many friends who would have reached out to him and helped him deal with his heartbreak. In that last second before he pulled the trigger to his gun I hope he realized Momma and Jay would be so devastated without him. Also I hope he understood that he was taking away a precious life that would be missed so very much. I do know all he wanted to do was be free from the pain he was feeling at that moment of his life. I forgive him for leaving us and I do know now he is not hurting anymore. He has let me know in so many ways (Momma I love you and I am here to watch over you.) Suicide is never the answer. There is always someone who will be there to help us in sad times of our lives. We just need to show love more and let those that we love know I am Here for you. Theresia (Philip's momma)