Keith, I did not mean to hurt you by not including you in my stories and thoughts. Yes, I know you are my shoulder I lean on everyday of my life. You were the one who took care of me the night Philip killed himself. You were the one who verified his body. Those thing will be forever imprinted in your mind. I know it was hard for you too. Yet, you were strong and put your grief aside to help Jay, me and my family. You took care of me and gave me a home to come to. I could not go back to where Philip took his life. You offered me a place to come to and you have taken care of me for 5 years. When the so called Minister made derogatory remarks about my son. You were the one who stood up and told him and all the others what a good young man Philip was. The countless hours and days I cried myself to sleep you were the one who held me and let me grieve on my own terms. I remember the day you finally let your grief go free. You knelt in front of me while I was sitting on the sofa and cried so hard I was afraid you would never stop. You have been a friend to Jay and have let him know you are there if he ever needs you. You were the one who spotted the Red Tail Hawk and made me aware Philip was watching over me. Sometime when we watch movies we see things that remind us of Philip and we both share the sadness and cry for my son. Thank you for being the LOVE OF MY LIFE. Philip loved you and that is why he knew I would be safe when he left me. He put my life in your hands because he knew you would protect me and love me. I know he like to tease you about playing HEY JOE by Jimi Hendrix too slow. He thought you were the greatest guitarist in the world. Always bragged to his friends how wonderful you were. I have seen him literally burn his fingers holding a lighter in the air when you did the Star Spangled banner the Jimi Hendrix's version. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being the strong, compassionate man that you are. I will love you til I die. And by the way I live because of you. I would never hurt you or Jay by checking out of this thing called life. Even though not a day goes by when I don't wish I was dead. I think we all hurt that bad at some point in our lives. I love you Keith Smith my companion for life.