I'm from your SOLOS group and I too lost a son to suicide. I cried as I viewed Philip's memorial site and am still crying. I would like to leave one of my favorite writings and hope it gives you some peace. Karen, mother of Christian “I Lend You a Child” “I’ll lend you a child of mine for a little time, “He said "For you to love the while he lives and mourn for when his dead. “It may be six or seven year, or twenty-two or three, “But will you, till I call him back, Take care of him for me? “He’ll bring his charms to gladden you, and shall his stay be brief, “You’ll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief. “I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth, return, “But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn. “I’ve looked the side world over in my search for teachers true. “And from the throngs that crowd life’s lanes I have selected you. “Now will you give him all your love, nor think the labor vain. “Nor hate me when I come to call to take him back again?” “I fancied that I heard them say: “Dear Lord, Thy will be done! “For all the joy thy child shall bring, the risk of grief will run. “We’ll shelter him with tenderness; will love him while we may. “And for the happiness we’ve known forever grateful stay; “But shall the angels call for him much sooner than we’ve planned, “We’ll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.” Edgar Guest